happy birthday arun!

so there's shock, and denial, and holding things at an arm's length, and coming to terms, and pushing things back to that arm's length, and stark realizations, and moving on, and pretending to move on, and forgetting, and wanting to forget.

and there's wanting to be there, and trying to be there, and not knowing how to be there, and actually being there.

Happy Birthday Vicky!
rundown - PV reunion 2005. craziness and oh so fun. I am reminded why a) I don't take trips out to NYC (i.e. Kai and his ability to force drinks like no other human being known to man) and b) I get the heebeejeebees from socially awkward people (hello, even though you're drunk, you're STILL socially awkward, and even though you're blowing me kisses and being a little non-conservative about your hugs, you're STILL socially awkward). I can't wait for the photos.

or for my back to get better. come on!!

so when did I get too old to take Joshua ice skating? my poor lower back spasms. and there's something about spending dinner with three young married couples with a total of 5 1/3 (on the way) young children... I don't know what that something is, but kids sure dictate your life.

off to back treatment #2 and some work. time to find a new favorite coffee place in Torrance.

morning after thanksgiving. wearing freakishly old UCLA sweatshirt (think, when Cal was a freshman) and mom's PJ pants (think, where did I leave that bag of clothes?). debating which thanksgiving leftovers to dig into for breakfast.

so rundown of thanksgiving 2005:
largest turkey so far, almost 22 lbs. dear god that's a lot of untouched white meat. best presentation ever (served on a platter with rosemary and garlic roast potatoes and roasted tri-colored peppers... that I ended up eating all of because people were afraid of them)
best desserts, though I only had enough stomach room for the Do-bash and Paradise Cakes. maybe the pumpkin and blueberry pies will be for lunch.
best post-thanksgiving hop: driving down the street LA Story style, and hitting the pv drive south bumps a little too fiendishly.
and seeing old friends and old friends of friends. that's what the holiday is all about.

ps. will post pictures of the beer opening scenes. I think the caption should read: "Hold on, I want to see the action! - Harrison"

Thanksgiving week, 2005. So far, off to a great start. The best prepared eggs bruschetta I've ever had at Lazy Daisy (eggs actually over medium, toast non-soggy, tasty winter watermelon). A lengthy and girl-filled afternoon in Santa Monica with Jo (i.e. Charlie and the Farmer's Market, boy talk, bra shopping) complete with matching green and penguin panties and bottle opener belts (what will they think of next?). Then the tastiest chocolate chocolate cupcake ever, coupled with an iced gingerbread latte (because I can't get enough of those this holiday season), and off to Rent, the movie. Then driving down to the South Bay with little sidestreet traffic, the four take-out favorites from Ayara, "Time Bandits," and heading to bed and waking up early all snuggly warm. All I need to do is kick Matt's ass some more at Super Monkey Ball and make sure the turkey turns out tender and juicy, and we're set for Thanksgiving. :)

I am thankful.

Hike to the Needles Lookout. Engage in RTB (in so many different ways). Finish that V2+ sandbag. Take a step back when necessary. "Have you tried the breakfast buffet, sir? We're quite proud of that." (for future awkward moment reference) Prefer e-mail over phone numbers. Scream into your pillow.

(p.s. why haven't I been able to write all day?)

The cloud wisps and hint of rainbow.
Reevaluating life within the walls of room 28.
Four new ultra high-performance tires from Costco, and saying "wait, really?" to the installation guy.
A double tall iced gingerbread latte, and a "if you don't like it, we'll get you something else".
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole during a pleasant outdoor-seating luncheon.
Being brought to tears.
See also: surprise gift from my bff.

In one moment you can be wrapped up in your frustrations. In another, you can realize the blessings that life has brought you.

Thursday mid-morning. Thoughts before I take a nose-dive into transcripts and classroom analysis:

1. I FINALLY finished that blue "full-value" V2 route yesterday. How long have I been working on it? More than 2 weeks now? Probably my most dedicated project so far...

2. Why is lunch time 12pm? I either eat breakfast at 6am or 10am, so I'm either ready for lunch at 11am or 3pm. Hmm...

3. Driving around in a new model Honda Odyssey with 3 car seats, Elmo, 2 sun shades (that become opaque vision shades in conjunction with polarized sunglasses), and hints of an awkward smell that you don't want to consider identifying. Interesting glimpse into what life could be like 10 yrs from now? 15 yrs from now? (i.e. the Bottle Rocket 50 yr plan)

4. When do we take the time to let people know that we appreciate them and how they've impacted our lives? And when we do want to, how do we do it?

The continually thought-provoking yet unanswerable (in my case) question: Where do you get your strength from?

It's already mid-November. By jove, time is going freakishly fast... I've had a good couple of days. Lots of productive work being done, and what I consider adequate progress on the wretched 2nd yr project. Still navigating some stupid politics shit (i.e. adults acting like the 3 year old children they study), but Megan's got my back. Thank god.

Fun moments from the past couple of weeks:
- the oh-so-easy-on-the-eyes kickboxing instructor at BIM
- conference presentation at the Spa Resort and Casino (we might as well have talked aobut counting cards...)
- dinner and too many Stellas at the Matchbox in downtown Palm Springs with good ol' Dan and Thad
- the way-too-stuffed yet still eating Coldstone's ice cream semi-drunk and very giggly stumble back to the hotel room...
Dan: You left the thermostat at 55 degrees???
Thad: It was hot in here.
Dan: AND you left the back door open??
Ang: (wordlessly just goes for the couch slipcover in the corner of the room and wraps herself in it)
- hitting up the Cabazon outlet stores and observing bargain shopping in its purist form
- Team 28's excitement when we showed them "the trick" for turning mixed fractions into improper ones
- the "breathtaking entrance" into Joshua Tree
- my first multi-pitch, trad, and give me a heart condition slab climbs
- apparently the deer-in-the-headlights look when we hit the first pitch on the slab climb, and the "are you shitting me?" expression when asked if I wanted to lead the next part
- the wine-induced inhibition-less scramble to the top of the campground rock formation in the fluorescent glow of moonlight
- Rosie, the campground mom, and her hatred of climbing but love of watching climbers talk (because they can't do it without physically doing all of the moves)
- tie for tastiest entree at dinner: seared ahi burger with a spicy chipotle mayonnaise kick (who would've known?) or the coyote burger with bacon and sliced red onions
- though there was no debate over the tastiness of the brownie for dessert. and for a post-breakfast snack.
- the do's and dont's of fondue...

and ready for bed before 10:30 pm. I love it!!!

So this is how I spend my weekends. Isn't it GORGEOUS? And yes, I'm heading over to go climb that rock (well, part of it). And the ice cold beer and fried seafood after a long, hot day of climbing? RIDICULOUS! :)

So it arrives again. The Tuesday mid-morning procrastination lull. Where I check my email 8,000 times, read up on EVERYONE's blog updates and look through their online photo galleries, check the weekend weather (local and neighboring areas), clean out my email box so the server stops filling up so quickly, peruse online shopping sites (generally costco and rei outlet), and blog I suppose... BEFORE I half-heartedly try to finish my reading for this afternoon's class or frantically try to work on whatever writing draft is due tomorrow morning.

While I'm here, though, I may as well write a bit. Now that Halloween's over, it's time to plan for the next big holiday. No, not Thanksgiving. The UCLA/USC game. (Holiday = momentous occasion with obligatory gathering and celebration) Saturday December 3. Big party, my place. ESPN Zone eat your heart out. And wear your newly sale-purchased Bruin caps. And I wonder if the BLUEberry mojitos will have to make a star appearance. Or maybe it'll just be a two cases each of Fat Tire/Amstel Light kind of party. Ooh, I'm thinking it's evite time. :)